How has everyone been? I know it’s been a very long time since I’ve updated this blog and for that I apologize. School, family and friends kind of keep a girl busy. Not to mention Twitter is addictive

For those who have been following me on Twitter, you should know by now that I have been trying to look for a job since the summer of 2008. I have literally submitted a thousand resumes, personalized cover letters, attended dozens of job fairs, gone to endless interviews. Yet one and a half years later I am still unable to get a job. I completely understand that the unemployment rate is a gigantic problem in America right now. I also understand that there are many people out there that have been going out and doing the same thing I have trying to get hired. Having said that, I can’t help but wonder if my current employment status somehow relates to the fact that I wear a hijab.

Trust me when I say that it took me a long to come to this sad conclusion. Ironically I only started wearing the hijab two years ago. I was already working in a law office for a year before I started wearing the hijab. At the time I had to quit because of conflict with my schedule at the university. Never did I imagine that it would be so difficult for me to find another job down the line! I was always one of those people who were able to get a job without even trying. The same person I have learned to resent now

So how exactly did I come to the conclusion that my hijab is keeping me from getting a job? First it was much more subtle and hard for me to pick up on. For example a recruiter/HR personnel would call me sounding absolutely enthusiastic about my resume, but when I came in for the personal interview the same individual would act as if I were a completely different person. These are the same people that couldn’t stop gushing about my experience and references ON THE PHONE. Then it became a little more obvious when the interviewer would engage in as little eye contact as possible. Despite all of this, I kept very strong eye contact and always extended my hand for a handshake. Rejection after rejection – I still kept going.

So when did my light-bulb moment come? It definitely had to be about a month ago when someone from an old office job called to tell me about an opening they desperately needed to fill ASAP. The guy explained they wanted to call former employees that they knew were reliable before they tried to read new resumes. So once again I prepped to go in for an interview, but this time I had really high hopes that I would get the job considering my previous employment with the company. Needless to say my interviewee was shocked to see me with a hijab and became completely ambivalent towards me. That was the moment. I really no longer needed to be convinced of the cause.

Now you’re probably wondering what the hell is this blog entry about? I’m getting there – I just needed to paint you a portrait of the situation that I’m in right now.

After today’s Criminal Psychology class I checked my voicemail and whaddaya know there’s a message from someone whom I emailed my resume to last week wanting to do an interview. TOMORROW!  Heck yeah I was excited. I’m always excited when I get that phone call. Then that excitement takes a nosedive when I realize that once again the interviewer will look past my qualifications and experience and only focus on the fact that I wear a scarf to cover my hair.

When I came home I found an overdraft warning from my bank in the mail. I am tired of being unemployed. Then I started to fear how I will never get a job EVER. Then that fear turned into more crazy thinking.

So here is my dilemna.

Do I remove my hijab during this job interview tomorrow? Words can’t describe the shame I felt for even thinking this was an option. I literally broke down for fifteen minutes afterwards. I’m a Muslimah and I’m supposed to have enough Iman in Allah’s plan for me yet I felt that my only choice is to take off my headscarf for this one particular interview. The person interviewing me is a woman, I tried to rationalize to myself. Yes but what about the people  that will see me before I enter the room? What if it’s another one of those damn group interviews that always make me feel like crap?

What am I going to do? I honestly don’t know. I fear Allah and what he will say to me on the Day of Judgment in regards to this particular incident. Then again I am so desperate for a job to help support myself and my family that I can actually DO THIS? I also tried to rationalize this by saying that if I am offered the job then I will come back with my hijab on and then they definitely can’t fire me. I would feel so much satisfaction that I was able to play them like I’ve been played so many times before. But at what cost? And is it really worth it?

I know that there are a lot of you out there that have experienced this so I’m asking for your thoughts. Please keep a fellow sister in Islam in your Duaas.

For this Freebie Fest I went to my favorite mall in the entire state of Texas - NorthPark Center. Located in the heart of Dallas, it is very chic and inviting at the same time. As an added bonus, it has all of the stores that I needed to go to for this freebie excursion. As a Hijabi, I prefer this mall over the Dallas Galleria because the people that work in the stores have been so much more friendlier and accommodating to me.

Birthday freebies

My first stop was in Sephora. I don’t think there are words in the English language that describe my love of Sephora. It is without a doubt a woman’s playground. The Sephora at NorthPark is by far my favorite one because the staff is so friendly and they actually remember your name!  That’s not exactly a common occurrence when your name is Huda, in case you were wondering.  There’s this woman named Annie with a heavy NY accent that works as a consultant that I absolutely adore! If you wear a headscarf chances are she will say Salaam to you! Don’t be alarmed if this happens because she’s married to a Palestinian man and lived with him in Kuwait for 10 years. Since I was just in Sephora last week and scored a bunch of goodies using my Friends & Family discount, I decided to simply pick my freebie and leave. I didn’t even have to give the clerk any gift card. I simply showed her my Beauty Insider Card and BAM my birthday freebie was in the bag. Every year Sephora changes the gift so it’s nice to have variety. This year’s gift is a Sephora Super Shimmer Lip Gloss Trio. It’s basically 3 lip glosses in different shades of pink. Very nice – I can’t wait to try them on

♪ On To The Next One ♪

My next stop was at Victoria’s Secret. Most of you know all about the coupon they sent out for free underwear but little know that you can get more than that for your birthday. They sent me a gift card for $10 off of any purchase with no minimum purchase requirement. So it was basically a $10 giftcard. That amount doesn’t leave with much of an option so your best bet is is the bath and body section. Because I didn’t want to spend a penny of my own money, I decided on a Vanilla & Sandalwood Moisture-Rich Body Wash from their new Natural line. Hey you can never have too many body washes!

My next freebie came from Lush. For those that don’t have a Lush near them or have never been inside of one, it is in my opinion the second best soap shop on the planet. The first being any place in Palestine that sells Nabulsi soap, of course! Since I don’t have access to Nabulsi soaps here in America, I get my fix at Lush. As a Muslim, cleanliness and taking showers is a very important part of the religion no naturally I love to experiment with different kinds of soaps. This store is pure heaven for soap enthusiasts like myself. Because it sticks with the theme of cleanliness that Islam preaches, you can never go wrong with a Eid gift from Lush for your friends and family. The most amazing part about Lush, besides the obviously yummy scents, is that everything is handmade and made up of natural ingredients. I haven’t gotten any kind of birthday coupon from Lush but I have a stockpile of product bottles that were empty that I was able to return in exchange for an organic homemade fresh face mask! You simply bring in any 5 packages of any Lush product and get any face mask for free. I love Lush’s face masks because they are clay-based, something in which I don’t have access to. They are also very fresh so it must be refrigerated at all times. They have a large variety of face masks, many of which I have already tried and loved. I went in with the intention of getting the Brazened Honey Fresh Face Mask but sadly they were out! Instead I got Cupcake Face Mask, which is made of rhassoul mud, chocolate, and many essential oils. I haven’t used it yet but if it’s like any of the other face masks I’m sure I’m going to love it. The price of this face mask would have ordinarily have cost $12 so YAY for not paying a penny!

My final freebie of the day came from yet another skincare/perfume/aromatherapy/haircare nirvana called Aveda. I call this place nirvana because it smells like you’ve stepped foot in India. I must confess that I have never been in Aveda but I signed up for their mailing list because it looked so interesting while window-shopping one day. I’m so glad I did because as it turns out Aveda gave me the sweetest birthday deal of the day! As soon as you enter the store you are warmly greeted by an employee and a cup of really yummy tea. I think mine had fennel, licorice root, and peppermint – all organic. I have to say I usually hate those ingredients but it was surprisingly very good. As soon as the sales clerk saw the birthday gift certificate in my hand she lit up like fireworks! I could really tell that she loves doing this part of the job. She took me to a table where I was going to choose my own personal fragrance. FOR FREE! HOW AWESOME IS THAT! So this is how it works: you close your eyes and you are given different scents to choose. They compare two at a time and you tell them which one smells better until you have gotten 7 different essential oils mixed together. Then you choose in what form you would like it in. They offer a body scrub, body wash, body lotion, and pure perfume oil. I decided to go with the body lotion. Like body washes, you can never have enough body lotion! This by far was the most pampering gift of the day. The entire experience felt like a gift in itself. Not only did I get a free personalized scent that no one else has, but I also felt like I was being pampered in a spa! I say run, don’t walk, to your nearest Aveda today.

So how much does it all add up to? I would venture to say somewhere between $55-$65 dollars. Paying nothing for it all is absolutely priceless!

If you are like me and you know you have very little willpower, meaning you just know that you cannot control the urge to purchase something in addition to the freebies, then do what I did today and leave your money at home! I am so glad I did because I was ready to buy a whole lotta stuff and that would have defeated the purpose of my entire trip. It’s a much more gratifying feeling when you pay absolutely nothing for nice things to pamper yourself with. This is definitely a way to spoil yourself without hurting your wallet.